


A Good Dog Always Barks Twice

by schweet_heart



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Anthropomorphic, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Dogs, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Jealousy, Other, Pets, Post-Canon Fix-It, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Swearing, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 01:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schweet_heart/pseuds/schweet_heart
Summary: In which JB gets the happy ending he deserves.(aka thefuck you, the dog lives tooAU nobody asked for but which I sorely needed)





	A Good Dog Always Barks Twice

**Author's Note:**

> Catharsis, pure and simple.

 

JB emerges from the rubble after a day and a half of digging, having been sheltered from the blast by a reinforced desk, steel walls, and a hell of a lot of luck. Eggsy, fortunately, had not been in the flat; _un_ fortunately, that means JB has to go and find him. God knows what trouble that boy has gotten into without him – Eggsy likes to pretend that he’s all that, but he’s as soft as a marshmallow on the inside, and catastrophically prone to getting himself into scrapes when left unsupervised.

 

It takes a week for JB to track him down, hampered as he is by a slightly singed nose and the ringing in his ears. He follows the trail with some relief, somewhat hurt that Eggsy has not, in the meantime, come back for him. After all, JB would always come back for Eggsy. In fairness, however, Eggsy is only human – you can’t expect them to have as much sense as a dog – and he _had_ most likely thought that JB was dead.

 

It would take a lot more than an explosion and a pile of bricks to kill JB.

 

As luck would have it, Eggsy is in one piece, and so is Harry Hart, something which JB thinks ought to surprise him but which, somehow, doesn’t. JB recognised something in Eggsy’s mentor they day they met, and that was that they were both survivors. The only downside to the whole affair is that apparently, Eggsy has acquired another fucking puppy. What the hell.

 

BJ – as the imposter is so aptly named – is cute, as far as bundles of fluff go, but JB refuses to believe he was ever that small and– and _helpless_. A Kingsman’s canine companion (a Kingspug, in this case) is not, and will never be, the sort of creature that _cuddles_. He may, on occasion, choose to soothe his human master with the judicious application of snuggles and belly-rubs, but that is for medicinal purposes only and strictly regulated by the Canine Affection Guidelines. By contrast, this ridiculous infant creature dispenses affection like it’s necessary in order to live, the monstrous little pup.

 

JB may also have a small jealousy problem.

 

All is forgiven, however, when Eggsy sees him. It’s not immediate recognition, due to the human’s inferior sense of smell, JB’s deplorable lack of bathing, and the fact that Eggsy doesn’t seem able to believe his eyes, but after a moment the joyous cry of, “JB!” rings out across the street and JB is once more where he belongs: in Eggsy’s arms. Eggsy is possibly crying, while attempting to simultaneously hug, pet, and scold JB all at once. BJ, clearly unused to being left out, is dancing around his ankles yipping at the top of his tiny – probably malformed – lungs.

 

All things considered, however, BJ can just damn well _suck it_ , JB thinks, and covers Eggsy’s face in precise, affectionate, strictly regulation kisses.

 


End file.
